Food for Thought – June 2025

Reflections on what we carry, what we release, and how we build an honest life, through work, connection, and protecting our energy.

Jun 08, 2025

Hi Friends,

Summer is arriving, and with it, a shift in rhythm. I’ve just landed in Chicago and I’m leaning into the warmth, the long days, and the openness this season seems to bring. There’s an ease in the air, not a full pause, but a softening. A quiet invitation to notice what’s shifting within, not just around us.

This month, I’ve been thinking a lot about patterns—how we relate, how we protect our peace, and how we stay present through change. Below are a few reflections and recommendations that helped me move a little slower, listen more closely, and feel more grounded.

Let’s dive in.

📖 What I’ve Been Reading

Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

This book is changing how I think about relationships. Attached explains the science of adult attachment and how it shapes the way we connect, express needs, and respond to closeness.

It outlines three main styles: anxious, avoidant, and secure. What stood out most is how much clarity it offers without judgment. It’s not about fixing people, but understanding them and yourself.

Why do you pull away when things feel too intense? Why stay quiet when you need reassurance? Why might someone shut down when they care the most?

This isn’t just helpful in romantic relationships. It gives language to your needs, helps you recognize safety, and shows you how to step away from what can’t meet you.

It’s psychology that feels practical, clear, and deeply human.

🎧 What I’ve Been Listening To

Dan Whitlam – “Quick Intimacy”

“I want someone to lean into me for a lifetime…Like how I dreamt it was meant to be…”

This track is soft-spoken but emotionally loud. With a rainy-day beat and lines that read like poetry, Quick Intimacy is about wanting something that lasts. Not the thrill of newness, but the kind of love that stays through the still days and the hurricanes too.

Whitlam’s words explore modern longing with an old soul. It’s a reminder that real connection isn’t flashy—it’s built quietly, in the everyday choice to hold on.

Common with the San Francisco Symphony

I recently saw Common perform Be live with the SF Symphony to celebrate its 20th anniversary. The experience was more than nostalgic. Hearing those tracks—like “Love Is…” and “The Corner”—set to strings and brass made the album’s emotional range hit even deeper. Be isn’t just about skillful storytelling. It’s about faith, presence, and holding onto hope through struggle.

What struck me most was how the music created room for stillness and reverence, even in a packed hall. It reminded me that true artistry invites you in, slows you down, and makes space for something sacred.

🎬 What I’ve Been Watching

Survival of the Thickest (Netflix)

Based on Michelle Buteau’s memoir, this comedy-drama follows Mavis Beaumont, a plus-size, Black woman in her late 30s, starting over after a breakup. Set in New York, the show is loud, stylish, and full of heart, but it’s not just fluff.

It explores race, sexuality, aging, body image, and self-worth with humor and depth. Mavis isn’t polished, and that’s the point. She’s figuring it out in real time how to love, how to be seen, how to stop shrinking herself for others’ comfort.

Watching her navigate friendship, dating, and career pivots feels like watching someone reclaim the joy and mess of being fully alive. It’s rare to see a story so full of color and softness that also leaves you feeling more grounded in your own truth.

Season 2 just dropped, and it’s even better. Highly recommend if you’re craving something real, celebratory, and full of heart.

💬 What I’ve Been Reflecting On

On Boundaries: What They Are and Why They Matter

Boundaries are often misunderstood as walls or rejection, but they’re really the opposite. A boundary is a clear expression of care for yourself and your relationships. It says, “This is what I need to stay connected to you without losing myself.”

Here’s something that shifted my thinking:

A boundary isn’t about changing someone else’s behavior. It’s about being clear on how you’ll respond if your needs aren’t met. The other person doesn’t have to agree or comply, but you still get to choose what you allow and where your energy goes.

For example: “I’m happy to talk, but not if I’m being yelled at. If that happens, I’ll leave the conversation.”

Lately, I’ve been asking:

• Where am I over-explaining when a simple “no” is enough?

• Where am I hoping someone respects a boundary I haven’t clearly named?

• And where could I stop managing others’ comfort and start honoring my own?

Boundaries aren’t barriers. They’re the structure that helps us stay open, steady, and connected without burning out.

📸 Photo Highlight

This photo is of a mixed-media piece titled There Is Beauty in Grief by the incredible @mamaladysmix. I saw it recently and couldn’t look away.

Something about the contrast—green growth, teardrops, broken hearts, arrows—captures the quiet complexity of healing. The piece doesn’t try to fix or explain grief. It simply holds it. Tenderly, honestly, without rushing to make it pretty.

It reminded me that grief isn’t separate from life. It’s part of it. And sometimes, beauty shows up exactly where we’re most broken open.

Let me know what’s been shifting for you lately or what you’re reaching for this season.

Until next time,

Dena 👋🏽

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